Manageable Tongue Twisters

Tongue get tied easily? The good folks at McSweeney’s have you covered. Try this one:

Fuzzy Wuzzy had been a bear.
But he was bald.
So, if this was the case,
He couldn’t have been very fuzzy, right?

Or maybe this one:

James bifurcated corn,
Although I don’t really give a shit.

12.17.2009Tagged with:    

The Conflicted Existence of a Female Porn Writer

McSweeney’s is running a column, credited to Lynsey G., that details her involvement as a writer in the smut industry.

From the introduction:

In many ways I believe that stance to be a fair one, and I stand by my decision to support women’s choices. But the longer I keep my tenuous toehold in the jizz rag biz, the more the realities of the porn industry stare me in the face, and it’s not just the faces covered in jizz that bother me. There are a lot of really upsetting things going on both inside and outside the studio, both on the industry and consumer sides, which are disturbing and decidedly unfriendly to women. The language used to describe them in industry terminology and in social contexts, the attitudes about their worth as human beings, the aesthetics with which they are presented to the world, and the acts they perform raise a lot of questions. I mean, what’s with the fake boobs and nails and eyelashes and tans and hair? Why the no-body-hair rule? And who came up with the idea that ejaculate is the new trend in facial moisturizers? On that note, where is the line between pleasure and degradation drawn, and by whom? Why have the past few years seen such an abrupt switch from full-length feature films to half-hour-long frenzies of manic semen spewing?

11.27.2009Tagged with:    

Famous Authors Narrate the Funny Pages

From McSweeney’s, Virginia Woolf does Cathy:

A rain fell over the city, streaking the office window. Cathy looked up from the computer screen with its instructions on how to knit a brown sock. “My God, to be a stereotypical woman makes me feel as though I have no nose!”

Love the Hemingway, too. And the Faulkner. And… well, they’re all pretty good.

11.17.2009Tagged with:    

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.

Ah, Autumn.

When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

(via roger ebert)

10.28.2009Tagged with: